Offshore Humor

I heard a million jokes on the way to, and in, Bermuda. 999,990 can't be told on a family website, but this one struck me as funny and not inappropriate in mixed company. If you repeat it, it's best told in a thick Irish accent.

Mrs. O'Leary was standing in her kitchen doing the dishes when she notices a manager from the Guiness brewery, where her husband Paddy worked, pull up to the sidewalk. He gets out of the car wearing a long face and immediately Mrs. O'Leary begins to worry.

She greets him at the door to the flat. "Oh dear me, what's the matter? Has something happened to Paddy"?

Brewery Manager: "I'm very sorry Mrs. O'Leary, but this afternoon we found Paddy drowned in a vat of Guiness".

Mrs. O'Leary: "Oh my goodness no! Please tell that it was painless and quick".

Brewery Manager: "Well Mrs. O'Leary, I'm reasonably certain 'twas painless, but I don't think it was quick. You see, it appears that Paddy got out of the vat twice to piss".